6 Tips on Saving Your Marriage Before It Ever Needs Saving

jennifer-rose-3Yes, I know what you’re thinking, why would I listen to advice on avoiding divorce from a family law attorney? Well, believe it or not, I want to see people succeed in their marriages when possible. Although I provide a valuable service when things can’t work out, hopefully some of these things I’ve learned from years in practice and in my own marriage can help a few folks save their own. 

1.Be careful about social media:  One of the most common problems with social media is that it is so easy to connect to others.  While this is good in some ways, it can sometimes lead to trouble in a marriage if you reconnect with the wrong people.  Reconnecting with an old flame may seem innocent enough, but if it opens the doorway to old feelings, you then have a problem.  My suggestion is to never add those you previously had a serious relationship with.  If the door isn’t there, it’s a lot harder to go through it.

2.Date each other: Yes, this is easier said than done as life is hectic; however, dating each other helps you stay connected and helps to remind you of why you fell in love with that person to begin with. As crazy as life can be, it never hurts to remember the “good old days” when your love was new.

3.Listen more than you speak: Yes, I am sure you have a conversation with your spouse almost daily, but how often do you actually listen to them? What exactly do I mean by this?  Well, listening involves not only hearing but understanding why they are saying what they are saying. It involves putting yourself in that person’s shoes for a moment to truly know where they are coming from. If you can put your ego aside and listen with an open mind you can clearly hear what is bothering them, see what role you played, and make corrections before something that you thought was trivial damages your otherwise great relationship.

4.Talk to each other: Yes, I know I just said listen more than you speak, but you also must be able to tell them how you are feeling. Communication in general or lack thereof is one of the biggest reasons I see couples getting a divorce. Simply getting something out in the open for discussion rather than letting it fester can pay big dividends for your relationship.

5. Compliment your spouse often: I know it’s easy to take someone you see all the time for granted but you’d be amazed how something so simple as routinely complimenting your spouse can strengthen your bond. Think about how amazing you feel when someone compliments you. Now remind yourself that every time you compliment your spouse you are giving them that same amazing feeling. As Nike says, just do it.

6. Remember that you’re both human: As humans, we make mistakes. I think sometimes couples forget that their spouse is allowed to make mistakes.  We go from dating that person and basically overlooking any mistakes they may make to being married where we constantly point out those mistakes to the other person daily. Yes, I know it’s easy to spot other’s flaws especially when you live with that person day in and day out, but if we simply remember they are human just like you are, it makes that pill a little easier to swallow. Instead of focusing on what they do wrong, focus on what they do right. If you practice forgiveness often your spouse will likely follow suit.

Jennifer G. Rose is the founder and lead attorney at The Rose Law Firm LLC. One of only a handful of certified family law specialists in the state, Jennifer and her firm have won dozens of awards for their work in the field. Those wishing to reach her may call 205-323-1124 24 hours a day or visit rosefamilylaw.com. Her firm gives complimentary initial consultations in person.

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