Alternative Facts

By Lee Ann “Sunny” Brown

I was afraid that something like this could happen. I know that things are cyclical but I really thought something like this would not happen again, that we would have learned our lessons from history and not let it happen again. I guess I was wrong. I guess you know what I am talking about.

I’m talking about “orange being the new black.” I thought that the color orange had been dumped from the mainstream and reduced to the peripheral, only to be used for less significant things like a belt, or a small handbag, or a pair of socks. But, unfortunately, it’s somehow made a comeback and is trying to establish itself as a status symbol again. To me, anything that tries to pass off this loud, obtrusive, garish, outlandish color as the most popular color of the year is just Fake News. But, somehow “they” decided that orange was going to be the new color in charge. How did “they” not get the message that the majority of people don’t like orange. Orange is not a winning color. There is nothing about the color orange that suggests that it can be complimentary to most people. I just don’t think that I will be able to incorporate this harsh, brash, overbearing color into my daily life.

But, I can’t seem to escape it. Its influence seems to be everywhere, inserting itself into every conversation and every article I read, and glaring at me in every tweet, post, photo, and television program I come across. That’s how gaudy and loud it is. Every day it feels as if I am being assaulted by this outrageous, horrible color. I took a poll the other day of a few of my closest and “in-the-know” friends, and overwhelmingly everyone felt offended about having to see the color orange and being told we have to learn how to live with it. Some friends agreed that they could live with one or two pieces of it, but on the whole the fear is that it threatens to overpower everything else you like and so was better left alone. The idea that a color as unflattering and off putting as the color orange is this year’s “must have” color is just a trumped-up claim.

Now, I know there are some people out there who have fallen under the spell of those who would have them believe orange is good for them. But to them, I would just point out a few things: There are only a few times when you see the color orange being celebrated. One is at Halloween, which goes to show you right there how scary it really is. Another time is when it is worn by clowns, because it really does look outlandish and clownish. It distorts reality and emphasizes all the wrong areas. Someone who is all dressed up in the color orange seems as if they are someone who just can’t get themselves across to the rest of the people around them without screaming in all capital letters and jumping up and down.

Don’t do this to yourself, or to the rest of us. No one likes a screamer, it’s very unbecoming. The only thing positive I have heard about wearing orange is that it might make your hands look smaller, but it could just be because the rest of you is sticking out like a swollen sore thumb. The truth is that orange is not your friend. To suggest otherwise is nothing short of false information and fake news.

For these reasons, and so many others, I am campaigning to have the color orange dropped from consideration as a choice for next year and every other year thereafter, as it is deemed to be so unflattering to so many women of every age, race, and ethnicity. In the wrong light it can even seem downright hostile to women. There are no rights when it comes to orange—it’s just wrong.

The color orange has proven to be a polarizing color and should have never been elected as this year’s dominant color, especially when the majority of people do not believe it to be the best color for them. Most people believe that it is bad. Very bad. It’s the worst color I have ever seen on someone. Truly awful. There are a lot of colors out there, I mean a lot. And almost any other color is better than orange. I mean, I like the color purple. That’s one of the best colors, if not the best. It’s very inclusive, flatters everybody. But I know that not everybody likes it. I would not suggest that purple should be the color for everyone all day every day and that you should base all of your choices on the color purple. I think we should leave it up to the people to decide. Most people want to have a choice that represents the best of ourselves every day.

Unfortunately, the color orange seems to bring out the worst in people. That must be why the color orange is the dominant color for jails. It just proves that it is criminal to force the color orange on us all.

I vote “NO” and say #lockuporange for violating our sense of good taste by pushing the #AlternativeFact that “Orange is the New Black.”

It could never replace the elegant, classy, style of the color black.

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