B careful what you Tweet

By Paget Pizitz


Every so often, the lovely folks over at 105.5 ask me to come on their radio show as a relationship expert. Because I love being referred to as an expert of any kind, I don’t tell them about the time I got into a near break–up fight with my boyfriend of the moment about the existence of the elusive Pegasus. Let the record show that it was a long time ago and I was obsessed with fantastical creatures in Greek mythology, but as per usual, I digress.

In light of Anthony Weiner’s recent twitter photo scandal, the topic of this particular radio interview had to do with sexting and whether this is considered cheating.  It really makes you miss the days of Bill Clinton when he declared, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman,” and his statement regarding oral sex not being actual sex or cheating. In case you’re like my dad, reading this column and scratching your temple, feeling silly for not knowing what this term means, I’ll get you on the up and up.

Sexting is the act of sending sexually explicit messages or photographs, primarily between mobile phones. As technology develops, the game changes. As the game changes, so should the rules.  It seems the days of meeting up at the local Motel 6 on your lunch break are over and sexting is the new lipstick on the collar. Because cheating has so many faces, it’s no longer black and white and doesn’t always mean there is physical intimacy involved. Kim Hughes, a dating and relationship expert says, “Anything that compromises the trust or the intimacy with your partner is tantamount to cheating.” If you’re doing something behind your partners back and it feels wrong, it probably is. I’m not talking about the weird things you do when you’re alone. I don’t want to know about that. If you like to put on your wife’s leopard–print aloe socks and rub yourself down with her jojoba almond body scrub while watching The Real Housewives of Orange County, that’s your business and I’m not one to judge.

When Carter leaves the room, I microwave my Twizzlers for eight seconds each. I know this is extremely disgusting but it’s not a relationship deal breaker. Since I am an expert, I’ll tell you my expert opinion. Anything that compromises the trust between partners qualifies as cheating whether that’s pictures sent or a racy tweet. If all else fails, here is a good litmus test for judging something as appropriate or not. Would you engage in this behavior with your partner in the room? If your girlfriend is standing next to you filing her nails, would you send a photo of your bare ass covered in honey to someone you met on Twitter? While I don’t know the ins and outs of your relationship, I don’t think that is going to fly.

Paget is the owner of Connections: Matchmaking and Personal Consulting

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