Beware the Ides


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Take a lesson from Julius.

by Paget Pizitz

Bonjour March, I hope to see your plus one this month is spring. As I write this column, I’m trying to decide if I am going to need an ice scraper to clear my windshield so I can drive to get LTC (Louis the Cat) bread and canned goods. It is supposed to snow, and with the inch accumulation warning, it’s sure to be epic. I would hate to be stuck inside for days; left with only Japanese rice wine and gummy sour pigs. So according to this conceited month, spring is here. Good. I have nothing left to give the cold. However, the reason March is my favorite of the twelve is not just spring’s return, it’s because I now get to reference The Ides of March.

I’ll never forget my ninth–grade English teacher warning me, in her wee Irish accent, to “beware the Ides of March.” Perhaps you’re thinking I’ve had too much saké and gone into total sugar shock after the sixth bag of gummy pigs, but marinate on this for a moment. I recall a while back, my friend tells me she is dating a man who meets about four (a mere four?) of her ten requirements and declares he is the one. She also tells me he is adamant about not wanting children, but she is confident being with her will change his mind. She has wanted to be a mother since the day she tried to put red baby oxford shoes on the family beagle. Allow me to fast forward a year later. She just ended it with Mister Four, is madly heartbroken and feeling more defeated and alone than ever.

If you are in relationship thinking you can change the other person, pack your Louis Vuitton Steamer Trunk and head to the bus station. An oldie but always a goodie, “You can train a dog but you can’t change a Lab into a Golden Retriever.” I wonder how life would have panned out for Caesar had he heeded the old Soothsayer’s warning to “beware the Ides of March.” In all fairness, Caesar had it coming, as he was given a fair warning from the start. Imagine if my dear friend took four on his word from the start? She certainly wouldn’t have stayed in a relationship whose demise was foretold within the first week. Listen to what people say and take them at their word. Never enter a relationship with the mindset you can change the other person. And certainly, if a soothsayer crosses your path as you’re strolling Railroad Park, turn your iPod off and listen. I’m willing to bet Julius Caesar is really kicking himself right now

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