Falling, Again.


Same time next year.

By Lee Ann “Sunny” Brown

It’s time for our annual check in with B.B. Every October for the past 32 years we have celebrated our wedding anniversary and we use that occasion to check in with each other and see if we need to renegotiate our contract (on my terms, of course) for another year. This year, as we celebrate number 33, I interviewed him to get his perspective on the state of our union. So, here are his thoughts, in my own words, from our recent conversation.

Me: So, hey there handsome…want to talk? (Hahahaha! Because of course, that’s exactly what every husband wants to do when they get in bed at night, which is where this interview was being conducted.) What are your thoughts? What’s on your mind? Tell me all about it.

 

B.B. He moves in closer.

 

Me: You. Are. So. Hot.

 

B.B. He moves in even closer.

 

Me: No. I mean you are making me so hot. You must move back over.

 

B.B. (Reluctantly moves back over.)

 

Me: (Throwing off the covers.) Three hot bodies in a bed are one too many. How did I ever agree to let her sleep with us? I know I am open minded but three is definitely a crowd!

 

B.B. As I recall it was your idea to bring her into bed with us.

 

Me: She was so young and cute. But, now, as she’s gotten older, she’s too hot. And, she is getting in between us. (Moving the dog over off of us). Now, where were we? Oh yes, what are you thinking? No, let me guess! You’re thinking about what you are getting me for our anniversary?!

B.B. (looking at me with one eye open.)

 

(I usually conduct these interviews while he is falling asleep so he doesn’t remember exactly what he said and will believe every word I write is true. As I heard it, this is exactly what he was trying to say):

 

B.B. Yes, Darling, that is exactly what I am thinking about. I am thinking about getting you everything that you wrote on your list. You deserve it all, and more. You are the most loving, caring, smart, sexy, beautiful wife. You look exactly as you did the day we got married. You haven’t changed a bit. If anything you look better. And, you are the best cook in the whole world!

 

Me: Awwww, no wonder we are celebrating number 33 this month! You are so sweet! By the way, have I told you lately thank you for being such a good Instagram husband?

 

B.B. What’s that?

 

Me: A husband who willingly, cheerfully, without complaint, excitedly even, takes all the pictures of his wife whenever she asks, wherever they are and whatever they might be doing, for her to post on Instagram.

 

B.B. (A long silent stare.) You’re welcome.

 

Me: I do appreciate you doing that. I know how much you enjoy it. I mean, it’s not like work or anything.

 

B.B. Work clients are easier.

 

Me: What do you mean?

 

B.B. (Silence. Deep breathing.)

 

Me: Remember how mad everyone was at our wedding when we got married?

 

B.B. Yes. That’s what you get when you pick the Alabama/Tennessee Game Day, and time.

 

Me: I was in love! I wasn’t thinking about football. I wouldn’t do it today, though.

 

B.B. (Opens his eyes and squints at me.)

 

Me: I mean, knowing what I know now. By the way, I want to thank you for always making sure that my car stays filled up with gas. You know how much I hate putting gas in the car. The absolute worst thing that ever happened was when full service gas stations went away.

 

B.B. (Looking at me with reproach.)

 

Me: Well, maybe not the actual worst thing, but close. And, thank you for going to the grocery store. You know how much I hate going to the grocery store. And, for telling all my friends hello when you see them there. Sometimes I start to feel left out. You see them more than I do.

 

B.B. You want to go?

 

Me: (Silence) Thank you for eating whatever I make for dinner, and not being picky about it. Except for leftovers.

 

B.B. I did eat them once.

 

Me: Thank you for listening to my jokes over and over again and laughing every time. And, thank you for still surprising me with flowers.

 

B.B. You’re welcome.

 

Me: I guess all that sums up a relationship pretty well; Always keep refueling–nothing runs on empty, be willing to laugh, be flexible, keep it full of surprises, be helpful…….and still want to take my picture! Thank you for another crazy year of marriage with all of its up and downs, and ins and outs and sideways. Happy Anniversary to us.

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