Fitting In


Learning the proper fit in life.

By Heidi Elnora

There are so many things to fit into. I am not just talking about your clothes, because we all know that is a fluctuating issue, but your work environment, your home life, the people that you surround yourself with are all a part of a fitting. I believe it starts when you are little.

Your parents pretty much decide who they want you to be. That is why they drag you to the ballpark or stage every weekend of your life. They want you to have an identity. They want you to fit in. Maybe your parents weren’t super sports fanatics; maybe they were more into art or music. Whatever the case may be, we learn the idea that it is important to fit in at an early age.

It wasn’t easy then and it isn’t easy now. I remember when I was in seventh grade, there was a group of girls who I thought were super cool. They were totally into Goth, and for some strange reason I wanted to be like them. I wore thick black eye liner to school and wanted to dye my pretty blonde locks black as night. (My Mom, who obviously had a much clearer head than me, nipped that in the bud. I couldn’t even get a perm much less dye my hair black).

I was supposed to be angry at the world, not really sure why.  I was not to be perky. For those of you who know me, that lasted about a week.  I am perky and that black eyeliner was not a good look for me. Besides it took too much effort. Y’all know I’m not much of a make-up girl.

As we mature, we discover more of who we really are. I grew to learn that I loved art, which led me to SCAD. For those of you who went to “normal” college, art school is like the land of misfit toys.  I was Alabama Barbie in the middle of some Smurfs, Thundercats, and Looney Tunes. They were all so interesting and so different than the people I had known growing up. For the first time in my life, I felt as though I truly fit in. My heart felt full. My spirit was calm. I was exactly who I supposed to be in that moment. I think that’s what so great about college. No one can tell you who to be, you just…become.

It was my decision to remain a perky blonde from Alabama after college and into grown up world. When it comes to that grown-up world, things can sometimes drastically change. After a time, some of us become blah. We conform into who society wants us to be. We can’t fit into our clothes, going to work becomes a job. We grow away from who we thought would be a perfect fit as a partner. We no longer fit.

Why is it still so hard? Shouldn’t that be done by now? The age of discovering ourselves never ends. I am 32 years into this and I still find myself most comfortable around the misfits. As for my new group, it consists of two boys. A big one and a little one. They fit me perfectly.

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