Heating Things Up

PrintLet’s get cooking!

By Lee Ann “Sunny” Brown

This year I’ve decided that I need to “spice things up a bit.” I’m sure my husband will be happy to hear this. I really feel that I have been neglectful in a certain area of my marriage of 31 years and that it could benefit from my giving it a little more attention. I mean, it is a vital part of life, after all. But, after that many years it’s no wonder that things have cooled off a bit in this department. 

Heck, I hate to admit it but it’s been downright cold for a while now. In fact, this is one area that I guess could have been improved upon from the very beginning. I blame myself. It honestly never interested me that much, and my husband didn’t push, so I just kind of let it go. But it’s become an issue now, almost nightly. So I’ve decided this is the time I will throw myself into making it a priority, devote myself to it, and commit to whatever it takes to open myself up to the experience.

I’ve read enough books on the subject, and even watched quite a few programs, to know that it can be a really sensual experience. And, when both of you get into it, that’s when it can get really sexy and bring a whole new dimension to your relationship.

I actually know some people who do it three times a day, even after many years together. They say if you are willing to learn some new tricks and different ways of doing it that it never gets old. And, to tell you truth, there are some new “tools of the trade” I’ve read about that seem very interesting. I really do think we can all benefit from introducing something new into our routine. Even those who always enjoyed doing it say they take a refresher course every now and then, just to keep it fresh. My husband is very excited that I am getting into it. So, I am going for it.

It seems daunting, but there are lots of “introductory” ideas for someone who is just feeling it out. It all comes so much easier to some people than to others. And, I am, unfortunately not entirely comfortable with some of the suggestions I read. But, I am adventurous and like a challenge, and I love my husband, so I am willing to try. Actually, on a couple of our evenings recently we have already tried a few new ideas that I saw on Facebook and I have to tell you, I have enjoyed it! (It’s really amazing what comes up on your Facebook feed these days!)

At first, I was trying it by myself but it really is a lot more fun when your partner joins you and shows some interest in it and begins to get into it, too. Especially when you’ve been working at it for a while and you’re just not feeling it—things just aren’t exactly turning out the way you thought they would, or you get all excited to try something new and it doesn’t meet your expectations and you feel like you let the other person down because you promised them something really amazing. When  you feel like giving up and forgetting the whole thing, it’s nice to have the other person there to help you reach the outcome you are striving for.

One thing that always hung me up was that I thought things like this should just come naturally, instinctually. I thought it couldn’t possibly be exciting if I had to “learn” how to do it. But, I am happy to say that I was wrong. The experience can be just as rewarding even if you had to follow some directions. And then, when you feel more comfortable you can add in a little variety, loosen up the rules and try some things that you might be particularly into and spice it up a bit. It’s all about discovery. So, I’m going to heat things up and get it cooking around here in 2018!

And this is a commitment, especially when it ends up taking a lot longer than you thought and it just keeps getting later and later in the evening. But what’s really wrong with eating dinner at 9 instead of 6? Some of the recipes have been absolutely worth the effort and the wait. Others have been surprisingly simple and easy, and we felt completely satisfied when it was over. On the other hand, some ideas have been so exhausting and time consuming and technical that it took all the fun right out of it and left me wondering why anyone would ever attempt that particular dish. I am still not sure about anything too exotic or that has too many steps.

Nevertheless, I have tried to keep an open mind, because I know I’ve put this on the back burner for far too long. This this year I am going to be in the kitchen learning to cook! I have actually decided to embrace it. So far, my favorite has been recipes for “Four Ways to Cook Salmon in Parchment Paper” that came through my Facebook stream. Wow! Those are amazingly easy and delicious and have become some of our favorite meals. We have one of them at least once a week!

We are actually having fun in the kitchen together and enjoying the fruits of the labor afterwards, and maybe dessert a little later, too. And, then a coin toss for who cleans up!

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