Love Yourself

Paget Pizitz - Love YourselfNo, not that. Be your own best friend.

By Paget Pizitz


Louis the cat has done very little of note the past few months. He ate a carrot, figured out how to turn the oven to broil and learned that he has to find time consuming hobbies, as mom is rarely home anymore to indulge him in his antics. As of late, I can barely find the time to provide ample food and water for the week. To this, I decided to take it old school, hunter–gatherer style. I started filling up the bathtub with food, suggesting he use his best judgement. That lasted Louis Pizitz a day and a half. New measures must be set into place with a quickness. I also asked him to get some new interests, apart from carrot-eating and general mayhem. 

He picked up golf for a hot minute, but I think it was more about driving the cart than the actual game. I’m sure it comes as no surprise that cats driving golf carts are frowned upon at most country clubs. I guess we are going to find him a new hobby. Right now he is looking into water polo but is in for quite the surprise when he learns the sport is played in actual water. Have you ever seen a cat in water? I have. It required several stitches in a very uncomfortable place and months of not speaking to this demon feline.

As you may or may not have noticed,  I took a few months sabbatical from my B-Metro column. Did you miss me? Just say “yes” and we can move on. As it turns out, slinging grilled cheese is quite time consuming. In fact, the three people I see all day, Harriet, Mike, and Joey, may as well be my new relationship. Do we need to move MELT to a state where I can marry all three of them? And if we did, would you come to the reception? I can promise some amazing cocktails, killer dance moves and a really kick ass grilled cheese bar. We all spend so much time together that I’ve placed a call into Jumpin Jammerz to see if they make a footie pajama onsies that can accommodate our foursome. I’ll have to do some serious lobbying to make this happen, as I am quite certain Mike and Joey don’t want to slumber in our truck, in a group sleep.

Grilled cheese and group sleep suits seem a perfect transition into some relationship banter, so let’s do this thing. Recently, I had a good friend come to me with stress and anxiety over a woman that he had just met. While it is way too soon to tell if he is truly in love, the infatuation does seem to be there. I think we are all familiar with that newness of the all consuming infatuation. It’s the one that occupies your mind no matter how hard you try to focus your thoughts else where. It’s like a hot blanket of of smothering anxiety, generally causing you to behave in a way that just isn’t flattering. I have been there, many a time my friend,  and you are lying to my face place if you say you have not as well. 

To this recent dilemma, I must bring back an oldie but a goodie. 


OBF, man—OBF. If you are not your Own Biggest Fan, who will be? This may sound conceited and maybe it should. My grandmother, Mimi, had a few gems that have stuck with me  throughout my adult life. One of these was “You can’t truly love someone else until you honestly love yourself.” I think this is a process and a journey that takes a lifetime. I can’t claim to love everything about myself but I am finally accepting myself. That means embracing the flaws, the imperfections, the bad but also all of the good. You have to appreciate and love what you bring to the table in order to be ready for a successful relationship. I love myself for the good, the bad and the truly f’ed–up. If you can get to the point of being your OBF, they will come running. You will need a stick to beat them away. You’ll also need to be sure you have good insurance to protect yourself from a lawsuit once you do actually beat someone with a stick. You’ll thank me for this gem of advice later. However, if you do find yourself handcuffed in an orange pantsuit, I will come get you from jail. I hope you’re at the Homewood jail because we can stop by Jinsei afterward for a mojito and some yellowtail serrano. Almost makes a little time in the big house worth it.

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