Parent Skipping

How to get through those extra parentally-challenging times…

1) Ask the same of them .
“Can you turn on the light in the bathroom?” Yes, child, there is nothing I would rather do than stop what I am doing to reach your PREFERRED BATHROOM (you know, the one farthest away) and reach a light that you can not only reach without assistance, but also can reach because of the carefully placed stool I sat under it for this exact reason.
Your response should be “Can YOU turn on the light in the bathroom?” This one has mixed results. But sometimes? I’m not walking to the bathroom, so there’s that.
2) Establish non-parenting time goals.
Need to finish a project? Make a phone call? Well, first off, you should know it’s all about timing. Find a new program, new toy, or new activity. Set up the children allowing a few moments to make sure they do not need ANYTHING else to take part. Then? RUN LIKE HELL.
Make that phone call, write that email… or play on Facebook, but remember this – you’ve got X amount of time. Use it wisely.
3) Learn to fake it.
Just as you do with your husband (not that way), your family and friends – learn how to fake things with your children. This will only allow for your sanity to blossom. I don’t mean for you to never check your phone while playing your 30th round of pirates, but rather – telling them that dinner is ready and shoving a bowl of chocolate yogurt in their face is actually ok every now and then. Smile when you want to run your face into a drawer of tacks. Hug when you want to choke yourself out. Lock yourself in your room before you break down. Faking life sometimes isn’t cheating – it’s smart.
This parenting gig? It’s not a race or a contest. Keep them fed, and loved and bathed and full of common sense and the like and you’ll have done your part. If you keep a few of your marbles in the process? Then you deserve a cookie.

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