Single Anniversary Celebration

Looking back over the ups and downs in the 365 since this column began.

When Joe O’Donnell approached me last year to be the singles writer for his new publication, I jumped at the chance to recount my past—and ongoing—trials and tribulations in the dating world. I more importantly, however, wanted to impart some of my hard lessons learned to others in hopes I could help them along in their journeys to the “happy ending” we all hope for—and without as many stumbles as I have had in my own travels.
In looking back over the last year, I must say that things have certainly changed for your Sam. Though I am still single, I actually am liking it for the first time in a long time. My first year as the B-Single girl has been a wonderful and ridiculously good “growing” year—maybe I just needed to put the mess of dating in writing!
Before I got to a good place, however, I always thought that it would take me meeting someone else to make me 100 percent happy and to bury the disappointments of lost loves and bad romances. Maybe you feel the same? What I’ve found this year is that all it has taken to become truly happy again was three entities: me, myself and I!

Since November 2009 (and the launch of B-Metro), there have been big changes in my life. First and foremost, I moved out of the house I own—which was the house I first bought and lived in with the guy I thought I was going to marry. Though the house held wonderful memories, it served as a reminder that something I felt at one point was “it,” in fact, wasn’t. Having the house was like holding onto an old shirt of his (well, a shirt with a mortgage and debt attached to it).

At any rate, I left it in February, finally, and am renting in another area (the mortgage is still mine, however). I’ve dated a few handfuls of people in the past year, some once, some twice, some off and on for weeks or months at a time. I felt the rainbow of emotions for this buffet of different individuals: indifference, adoration, disgust, elation, intrigue, the first fledgling feelings of love—my old friend— disappointment and then a new friend, relief. But from this cluster of feelings, I can honestly say it has overall been interesting (to say the least). To all of the guys who have been a part of this year, thanks (and to some of you “but, no thanks”). I’ve logged about 8,000 texts between me and other single gal pals as we’ve tried frantically to calm each other’s nerves before blind dates, during bad ones and as we do our normal “freak out” as men who we have been interested in teeter and totter on the playground of their own feelings. Thank God for unlimited text plans.

At more than a dozen instances in the past year have I uttered unfortunate phrases like: “Not Again,” “Seriously?,” “You’ve got to be kidding me,” “What a douchebag!,” “Why is this happening?” “What’s wrong with me?,” and “Why can’t things just work out well just once?” What I’m most happy to report, however, are the fortunate phrases I have found myself saying on more than one occasion (and more and more as of late): “I’m better off,” “I’m happier alone than settling,” “I can’t control anyone else’s actions,” and, my personal favorite, “It’s not me!”I have come through the past 12 months with a renewed sense of self. And what a feeling that is! It’s funny, when Joe and I decided this column would happen, I thought to myself, “But what if I get a boyfriend and have no more single stories to tell? What will I do then?” Rest assured. Until I get what I know I deserve and what I have waited 31 years to smack me in my Southern ass, I am going to keep on writing this column—for me, for you and for everyone who has ever had a happy ending they weren’t quite sure was ever coming. To the next 365 of B-Single … and B-Metro! Cheers!

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