The Last Ask Micah


Dear Readers,

For the last decade you guys have read my columns. Ask Micah has been a part of my life for a long time. I remember writing some of my early columns sitting in a chair in a NICU in California beside my newborn son’s bed after he was just born two months too early. That was almost nine years ago. I have had quite a run with this format and it has been something I’ve truly enjoyed and been proud of. I’ve heard a lot of questions from you guys over the years and I hope that I have helped you in some small way. Every once in while you’d write me back and tell me how things worked out. I’m happy to say that most of the time, things worked out great after taking my advice. I always liked to think of myself as your gay best friend that would just tell you like it is, but now your gay best friend is ready for a change. It’s time to stop Asking Micah and I think its time for Micah to start to do some asking. There are so many people out there living in our community, people we may not typically encounter. They have a story to tell. Stories that might inspire us, or sadden us, or encourage us to reach new horizons for ourselves. I think these stories should be told. Maybe it’s a teacher at a local school. Maybe it’s a mom struggling with her child’s disability. Maybe a cop who has more good tales from Birmingham than bad. Maybe it’s an artist who sees life in a way we don’t understand. Everyday we read interviews from famous people, or politicians, or people who command the spotlight. Maybe its time we hear from the unsung. The people who live and work in our city that have no voice but have a tale to tell. I want to be the teller of those tales. I want to hear what their lives are like and how those lives have bettered them.

I met with B-Metro’s Publisher Joe O’Donnell and asked him if I might be allowed to segue my column in that direction. He gave me the go ahead. So next month you will not find an Ask Micah in these pages, instead you will find a Micah Asks column in the online version of this magazine. Unfortunately, I doubt very much Micah Asks will make it to the print pages because my first interview is already four pages long and I haven’t even finished it yet! So, I hope you’ll follow me to B-Metro.com and look for my contributions there in the future. I hope it will make for good reading. Just give me a couple months to find my groove. Interviewing people is a lot different than just answering a problem!

As I step away from monthly advice, I want to share with you some things I’ve learned from your questions over the years. If there’s one thing I hope you take away from Ask Micah, it’s that you don’t really need to ask anyone. Ask Yourself. You know you better than anyone else possibly can. You know when you’re happy, and you know when you’re not. Its time to trust your instincts. Demand as much of the best for yourself as you can and don’t allow yourself to compromise more than is necessary. Love yourself and love those around you. Everyone has something they are going through and even the most insignificant gesture of friendship can save their day. Too often we tear others down when we feel at our least satisfied with ourselves, but the answer to healing ourselves is to heal those around us. Life gets better when we want better lives for those around us too.

But if you feel like you need some last sage words from me, I’ll sum ten years up in one paragraph for you:

If you hate your job, find one you don’t or learn to love it. If you think your mate is cheating, they probably are. If your significant other seems reluctant to commit, then you are not the right one for them and they are waiting to see if the right one is actually ever going to show up—is that good enough for you? If you don’t like your mother-in-law, she’s probably going to die before you so just focus on the joy in that. If your child doesn’t obey you, the problem is probably something you are doing not them. If your boss is an ass, bosses are just asses. They have a lot to deal with, cut them some slack.

Thank you all for the years of support and readership. It has always meant a lot to me when you’ve stopped me in stores or restaurants and told me you liked what I’ve written. I hope you’ll like the new column and if there is someone you think has a story that should be told, please let me know. I’d love to give them a voice. (micahcargo@gmail.com). Be your own best friend and be a best friend to anyone you know going through something, big or small. Most people just want to be heard. Listen to them and help where you can. The world gets better when we get better, and that all starts within ourselves.

Thank you for all the years you gave me,

Micah

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