The Rose Law Firm: Ask Jennifer


4 Practical Tips To make your divorce go more smoothly for you and your children

1. Learn to compromise. I know this is easier said than done, but often to make things go easier, you will need to put aside some hurts and compromise with your spouse. That doesn’t mean you are any less angry with them, it just means you’re more concerned about you and your kid’s long term welfare than any anger you might feel toward your spouse. If your lawyer can work out a reasonable settlement for you, you should consider it very seriously before pushing it away. Dragging the process out forever only to have a stranger in a black robe decide your future for you isn’t always your best option.

2. You might get divorced but you’ll still always be parents. Before you start a scorched earth campaign against your soon to be ex, think about the repercussions as it relates to your children. Like it or not, your children will always be a tie that binds you together. Dragging them into the middle of your divorce unnecessarily will only hurt them and make your job of co-parenting in the future that much harder if you make them resent the other parent.

3. Find a lawyer who matches your needs. More important than just going out and hiring the “baddest
lawyer in town”, you need to find a lawyer who is a good fit for your personal situation. When you interview a lawyer you should ask whether they are experienced handling cases such as yours and also how they would go about handling your case in particular. By asking these questions, you can find someone who has the experience you need and someone you feel comfortable working with. Look for red flags such as attorneys who bad mouth other attorneys you’ve met or who start making promises on your outcome. A good, ethical family law attorney isn’t so desperate for business to resort to these slimy tactics to get your case.

4. Take care of yourself and realize that this will pass. Know that getting divorced isn’t the end of your life and it doesn’t make you a failure. While it’s likely to be painful in the short haul just know that this too shall pass. Don’t shut yourself off from the world and let it rob you of your identity during your divorce. Spend time with friends and family, work out, get out, and do some things you like. Yes, you’re getting divorced; however, it doesn’t have to rule your life or define who you are. Divorce is only one chapter in your life, how the rest of your book reads is still up to you.

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