Ask Micah: The Sloppy Wives Club

unnamedDear Micah,

I am a newlywed but already I feel like the honeymoon is over because we fight all the time over the same subject—the state of our home. I am not a big cleaner. Never have been. She is a neat freak.  I knew that when we met. We are both busy professional women and we don’t have a lot of spare time. I do not enjoy cleaning during my off time. I want to relax, cut loose and have some fun. My wife says she can’t relax if the house is a mess. This doesn’t seem like a big deal to write, but in the day to day reality of our lives it’s a constant fight. She says we need to set aside Saturday mornings as cleaning day and work together to do the laundry and household stuff. I like to sleep in Saturdays because I go to church on Sundays.  I figure since she doesn’t go to church and has Sunday morning free, why can’t she just clean the house herself since she’s the one it bothers? What’s your idea?

The Slob

Dear Slob,

Get a maid. Seriously. Get a maid in once a week, or twice a week—whatever you can afford. You said you are both busy professional women. Surely you can scrape up enough to pay for someone to clean and keep your laundry up. As for the Sunday plan, don’t be ridiculous or selfish. It isn’t your wife’s responsibility to clean the totality of the mess you both made while you’re at church. That’s stupid. Also, how freakin’ messy are you two? I can understand needing to vacuum, dust, mop, and do laundry, but if you clean the rest of the house as you live in it each week there shouldn’t be all that much to handle.  If the toilet looks dirty, clean it Wednesday morning before work. If the kitchen sink needs scrubbing do it Thursday night after dinner! Don’t just sit in filth till the weekend.  But mostly I say, GET.A.MAID. And then the two of you can get back to newlywed bliss.

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